


baby, we're going down

by Redburn



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Exhibitionism, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Porn With Plot, oblivious keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 10:36:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9119875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redburn/pseuds/Redburn
Summary: The friends with benefits gig rarely works out. Keith learns this the hard way.He scrambles his hands to find purchase, struggling as Lance continues to fill him up more and more, sending him over the edge. And then Lance’s hands find his in the dim light of the closet, and he’s interlocking their fingers, and Keith feels his heart betray him when it stutters in his chest.





	

**Author's Note:**

> back at it again with the FWB! i think this turned out way sappier then first intended, lmao. also Keith and Shiro are adoptive siblings!
> 
> but I hope you enjoy it! happy almost new year everyone!

“ _Lance._ ”

All Keith got in response was another hard thrust. He simply grips the sheets between his fingers, trying to bury his head further into the mattress to endure every snap he felt in his back from the force of the other man’s pace.

They had a safe word, but so far in the 6 months they’d been doing this, it hadn’t been used. Keith trusts Lance, and vice versa. Keith also not-so-secretly gets off to being treated a little bit ruff; from hard edges and dark words, it never fails to light the spark deep inside him.

He felt Lance’s hands land at his hips, his fingernails digging into his already sensitive skin. A shiver ran through him from the touch, and he tried to gather up some spit in his too dry mouth. He let out a gasp, the bed swallowing up the noise when Lance hit that sweet spot again and again.   

Trying to focus past the haze slithering through his mind, he presses back into Lance with any remaining strength still lingering in his bones. Keith feels the air from his lungs escape him when they connect painfully well, and finally words start to tumble from Lance’s lips like a prayer.

“Keith, jesus, you just— _fuck_.”

On an average day, Keith would usually poke fun at Lance when the other man would stumble on his words around him; whether it be when Keith shot back with a better remark as they’d watch a soccer game, or arguing about directions in the car, or simply just a rebuttal in any bickering they engaged in.

Only now, in the quiet space of Lance’s small apartment bedroom, Keith wanted to hear more. He wouldn’t deny the satisfaction it gave him, listening to Lance fall apart because of him—because of _them_.

They were attractive people. They were great friends. And they had amazing sex.

What more could he want, really?

It works for them. It was easy and Keith enjoys every minute of it.

Lance snaps him out of his daze when his long fingers curled around Keith’s dick, pumping in time to his thrusts, and Keith bites down on his lip so hard he's worried he might draw blood.

He could feel sweat cooling on the back of his neck, and when Lance bends forward to brush his warm lips over the area Keith felt a jolt crack to life in his shoulder blades. “Ah!”

“Keith,” Lance breathes, fanning across his skin. Keith closes his eyes, letting the pleasure wash over him in waves. “Cum with me.”

And Keith does like a dog being told to sit. He shoots his load, over Lance’s hand and onto the white sheets below. He feels Lance stutter behind him, and with one final push he’s cuming inside Keith too, his arms lifting to wrap around Keith’s middle.

Keith slumps forward, half his face squashed into the pillow, and Lance falls with him. They’re both panting, Lance’s breath tickling his ear, but Keith can’t bring it upon himself to mind.

Lance pulls out carefully, tying the condom at its end and throwing it towards the bin but missing by a few inches.

“Nice one,” Keith scoffs quietly.

“Like to see you do better, LeBron,” Lance mumbles, lying on his back and closing his eyes, hands resting behind his head.

Keith turns to watch him, eyebrow raising. “I don’t think we need to play another one-on-one to prove who’s best. We decided that first year of college.”

“That was forever ago,” Lance tilts his head to him. “You’re an old man now, I can totally take you.”

“So you’re admitting you’re old, too?”

“Maybe in years, but my soul is still younger than yours. You have an old man soul.”

Keith shoves him playfully, too exhausted to cultivate a remark before getting up to go and pee. He briefly glances at the fresh hickeys on his neck in the mirror and smirks slightly. He walks back out now cleanly wiped down, picking up his underwear on the way.

“Sorry to dine ‘n dash, but daddy’s gotta work.”

“Ugh,” Lance grimaces, “Don’t say that, ever.”

Keith lets out a laugh as he tugs his shirt back on. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the game, yeah?”

“Yup, and don’t forget to bring the nacho dip this time.”

Keith merely waves his hand in response as he heads for the front door.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, what’s your opinion on space?”

It wasn’t unusual for them to chat in the middle of getting each other off, but maybe tonight Lance was feeling a bit more impatient than usual because he shoots Keith one of his more powerful death glares.

“I dunno,” Lance huffs, shifting his hips forward, “It’s big?”

The hand that Keith currently has wrapped around Lance’s dick gives a tight tug that in turn emits a groan from Lance.

“That’s it? It’s ‘big’.”

“Well, I’m not _wrong_.”

Keith barely holds back on rolling his eyes, instead growing tired of using his hand, so he sinks down onto his knees to take Lance in his mouth instead. Keith has sucked a lot of dick over the years, but Lance’s was definitely in the top 5. (Probably the top 2, if he was being honest, but Lance didn't need that information added to his gloat bank.) And Keith knew he was damn good at it, if Lance’s appreciative mewls were anything to go by.

“Fuck,” Lance says, and Keith could feel the man’s thighs trembling in their place against the wall. Keith smirks cockily around Lance’s girth, going impossibly deeper as it hits the back of his throat insistently.

Keith moans around it, the vibration making Lance twitch under the hands Keith has spread in the dips of Lance’s hips. Keith sucks, and twists, and then he runs his tongue, hot and heavy up the expanse of it, and Lance shudders around him.

“Keith, you—” Lance laughs, almost disbelieving, “Fuckin’ incredible.”

And if _that_ isn’t the highest praise he’s ever gotten, well, Lance doesn’t have to know about it.

 

* * *

 

“Keith, can you come here for a second?”

Allura’s voice drifts through the workplace over to Keith’s desk, and so he pushes himself away from his computer full of shit he’d rather not deal with right now, to go over and do something for her he probably would rather not do either.

“What’s up?” he asks as he walks into her office, sitting on the armrest of one of the guest chairs; he knows how much she hates it when he does it.

“Well, firstly,” she ticks something off on a piece of paper before glancing up, “I need an update on the Garrison Report. How is it coming along?”

Keith tries his best to remember. “Good, good. I’m almost finished with it, just waiting for some numbers from IT to come through.”

She nods as if she believes him. “And second, are you bringing anyone to the office Christmas party this year?”

He blinks at her. “Uh, no. You know I don’t.”

“It wouldn’t hurt, you know,” she continues, and Keith isn’t sure he likes where the conversation is being steered.

“It’s just not my thing,” he shrugs, flicking the head of her bobble-dog perched in front of him. She levels him with another look.

“You can bring anyone, you know,” she says, clicking her tongue, and then her eyes light up. “Oh, Steve in accounting might be a good match. How about I set you two up?”

Keith holds back on making a displeased sound. “Steve? No, no. Really Allura, I’m fine. And most people around here are too afraid to tell you because you could fire them, but you’re _terrible_ at setting people up.”

She narrows her eyes. “I guess _you’re_ not afraid to lose your job then, hmm?” she huffs out a sigh before reclining in her chair. “What about Lance? You’re friends, right? Maybe he’d like to come.”

Keith raises an eyebrow at her, but says nothing. She already knows about his history with Lance so he’s not sure what she might be thinking, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing; at least he and Lance could team up together to prank the Santa they hire every year, so that’s something.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Shiro,” Keith answers on the third ring. It’s a little difficult at the moment, but he tries his best to make sure his voice doesn’t sound strained.

_“Hey little bro. I just need to double check on the food you’re bringing up for Christmas this year.”_

Keith would never in his life admit to the complete 5 second blank he experiences when Lance grazes his teeth _just right_. “Uh, r-right. Didn’t you assign me to potato bake?”

 _“Ah, that’s right.”_ There’s some shuffling on his end, and when Shiro talks again Keith has to actually bite down on his fist to keep from moaning. _“So, what time am I picking you up next Saturday?”_

“Um,” He swallows down a groan, shifting his hips. “Is 5 okay with you?”

_“Yeah, works for me.”_

And just then Lance licks at his head, fondling his balls at the same time and catching Keith completely off guard. An involuntary noise escapes him, and Keith feels his face flush when the other end of the line goes silent.

_“…Keith.”_

It’s Shiro’s disapproving tone. Keith had heard it plenty of times growing up whenever he got into trouble in his youth. But dammit, he was 27 now, so he doen’t know what Shiro plans to say to him that would make him stop Lance from sucking his brains out through his dick.

_“Keith, please, please don’t tell me you answer the phone to mum when you’re doing that.”_

Keith actually chokes on some spit. “God no, _jesus_!”

Lance can probably only hear one side of the conversation currently going down, but he still smiles to himself in knowing he has full control over Keith right now. He deep-throats Keith in one go, and Keith makes a strangled sound in return, covering the listening end of his mobile.

_“Alright, that’s it, I’m going now. God, you’re so gross, baby bro. Tell Lance I say hi.”_

And then the line clicks.

Keith throws his phone onto the armchair to his left, and then he reaches down to lift Lance’s face up to look at him. The other man’s eyes were twinkling, and some saliva and cum were currently dripping from the corner of his mouth. Keith wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.

“Shiro says hi,” he finally breathes, heat and desire still coursing through him at rapid speed.

Lance grins. “I’ll have to send him a huge apology basket this year, huh?”

“Nah,” Keith starts, flipping them over on the couch so Lance was flat on his back instead. He begins to unbuckle Lance’s belt before promptly yanking his pants down when Lance angles up to help accommodate. He palms Lance’s hardening dick through his boxers, and Keith smirks inwardly. “Tell him at my office party. You should come this year.”

Lance’s eyes are half-lidded, breaths coming out of him in short puffs as Keith continues to work him up. “Y-yeah, alright. Will they serve those puff pastries like your last office party did?”

Keith has no idea. “Sure.”

Anything else Lance might have had on the tip of his tongue went away the minute Keith snaps forward and sucks his neck with an eager mouth.

 

* * *

 

They arrive at the office Christmas party two hours late. The first couple of hours at these things are usually pretty tame, with a lot of staff bringing along their families to come and meet Santa. Keith wears the same thing he usually wears to work on an average day, but Lance decided to go all out and dressed up in a damn tux. Keith tries not to let on how much it was influencing his libido.

Lance eventually excuses himself to make a beeline for the table set up with food, and offers to get Keith a pig-in-a-blanket while he’s there. Keith watches him go, and sees the large number of eyes that follow Lance as he struts across the room with confidence. It wasn’t new information that Lance drew people in like a moth to a flame.

What always baffles Keith was why Lance never acts on anything. From how shamelessly he had flirted back in college, Lance hadn’t dated much over the years, nor had the partners ever stuck around for long.

Lance would always say, _“It just didn’t feel right.”_

And Keith would say, _“Yeah,”_ like he knew what he meant.

Keith doesn’t think he’s seen Lance go on one date since they started this benefits arrangement. But Keith wasn’t exactly complaining. Lance was fun. He was charming, had a sharp sense of humour that kept up with Keith perfectly, and a devilishly wicked mouth to boot. Keith had to suppress a shiver when an image of Lance on his knees flashed over his mind.

“Keith!”

He turns to see Allura send him a small wave to beckon him over. He crosses the wide office space full of co-workers to reach her, and when he gets closer he notices she's swaying a bit in her high heels. He cocks an eyebrow before grinning.

“Hey boss.”

She giggles softly. “That makes me sound so old, ugh.”

Keith shrugs. Just then an arm was extending past Keith’s shoulder and over to Allura. Keith watches as Shiro comes to stand next her, holding out a plate of food near her face encouragingly.

“Honey, you should eat something,” he insists, his expression fond.

She waved a hand at him dismissively. “Pish posh, I’m fine,” she says just as she stumbles a bit into his side. Shiro sent her another pointed look. “Alright, fine. I’ll have one mini quiche.”

Shiro smiles at her proudly with so much undivided love, and Keith wonders if Shiro has even noticed his brother standing right here. After she shoves the tiny serve into her mouth, she gestures to Keith with a nod. Shiro turns to him surprisingly, eyes lighting up.

“Baby bro!”

“Ugh,” Keith rolls his eyes, hating when Shiro called him that in public.

“When did you get here?” Shiro asks, still holding the plate of food in front of Allura as if to bait her.

“Lance and I only got here 10 minutes ago.”

“Oh god,” Shiro mumbles, knowing full well Keith and Lance were bound to cause some kind of trouble while they were both here. “He’s a bad influence on you.”

“Oh my god,” Keith half-laughs, half-scoffs at how 3rd grade it sounds, “Think of it all as payback for you dating my boss.”

Shiro’s face does blush a bit at that, but then his attention swivels back to Allura when she says they should go and dance. She dumps the plate on a nearby table and drags him away, with only minor protests from Shiro exclaiming _But I only have one arm_ fading out onto the dance floor. Keith only finds himself alone for a few moments until Lance is back with their food, and now also, drinks.

“Here you go.”

Lance hands him a cup that looks nothing like the already paid-for drinks being given out at the party. Keith smells it before he raises his eyebrows. “Where did you get tequila?”

“Some co-worker of yours,” Lance winks and bumps their drinks together before downing it in one go. Keith is impressed. And then he does the same.

It’s a couple hours later and Keith’s feeling pretty buzzed. Most of the families have gone and some more high-tempo music was playing now. Lance manages to drag Keith out to dance with him at some point, and as much as Keith tries not to get involved with rutting against people while some shitty music plays, he can’t seem to resist tonight. Especially when Lance keeps grinding up on him as discreetly as he can muster in his tipsy state.

He can quickly feel it growing less and less PG rated, and Keith ends up dragging them both away from the crowd to go and find a room. After a while of searching and without much thought he stumbles into what he thinks is an office but instead it’s a coat closet. It’s roomy enough, and it has a lock, so he decides it’s as good a place as any.

“Mm, kinky,” Lance breathes against his neck.

“Shut up and strip,” Keith instructs, knowing full well how much it turns Lance on.

He watches the other man remove his clothes, and Keith feels his mouth go dry. Lance does hang up his jacket, though, exclaiming _‘It’s a rental, Keith,’_. He remembers suddenly that they don’t, in fact, have anything to use as lube, and he curses internally until Lance is unexpectedly holding something in front of his face.

“You _prepared_?” Keith asks incredulously as he takes the small tube of lubricant.

Lance offers an innocent shrug as he kisses along Keith’s collarbone, his fingers trailing lightly down his stomach.

“We’re you hoping to get with someone else here?” Keith asks without thinking, regretting it for some reason he can't quite understand.

Lance pauses. “No,” he says, and Keith can hear the truth behind it.

Keith ignores the instant relief he feels and the warmth that spreads throughout him, and instead focuses on removing his own pants and shirt and feeling them drop to the floor in a hurry. His hands scramble at Lance’s broad back, fingers trying their best to grip, and Lance cants his hips forward until both of their dicks brush together in a mess of _want, want, want_.

"Ugh," Keith groans, savouring the friction, his hands trailing down the dip of Lance's shoulder blades, past his spine and coming to cup both of his ass-cheeks. Keith feels his dick twitch, blood hot, his vision prickling with blurs, relaxed and pliant. Lance ducks his head down to kiss along the curve of Keith's neck, nipping and licking, and Keith jerks under the affection. One of Lance's hands move down, his index finger running lightly, teasing, over the slit of Keith's cock. 

"Keith," Lance whispers into his skin, his lean fingers wrapping around both of their cocks, pushing the foreskin up and down in fast strokes, on the verge of riling Keith up but not enough to get him off. Keith rests his forehead on Lance's shoulder, panting, bringing a hand up to fist into the locks at Lance's neck. He fleetingly realises it's gotten longer, but his thought is cut off when Lance abandons his own dick to focus on Keith's, his grip hardening at the base and loosening as he slides to the top, collecting the pre-cum on his thumb and bringing it up to his lips, licking it off as his sharp eyes never leave Keith's.  

Keith watches with wide eyes, so unbelievably turned on, and he releases a muffled moan, twisting in his place so fast until half his face is pressed against the wall. “Fuck me,” he says, or rather, _demands_ , voice cracking as pure desire emits from his body. 

Lance crowds in his space, his body a wall of heat as it presses up against Keith's back. He makes a muffled noise from his place pressed between Keith’s shoulder blades, and then a cap is being popped off and a finger is entering Keith, slow and steady and agonisingly good. Keith pushes back onto it, needing more already, and after a bit more probing Lance adds a second, then a third. Lance has always been amazing with his fingers—Keith is always surprised whenever he cums from just them alone.

He cants in time to Lance’s delicate pushes, dick throbbing with each curl of Lance’s fingers inside him and making him cry out.

“Shh,” Lance whispers into the shell of his ear. “You’re doing so good, Keith; look so pretty for me.”

Lance’s praises always rile Keith up and make an incredible force of lust consume him; Lance’s voice always dropping a few octaves and making Keith shiver with desire. Lance knows every little thing that gets Keith going, every secret he keeps hidden away, and that thought really should scare Keith more than it does. Lance's fingers brush over his prostate for one delicious moment, but then they go back to ignoring Keith's pathetic mewls of want, teasing him to to point where Keith feels his limbs start to shake, his mind losing all coherent thought. 

“Fucking hell, Lance, _please_ ,” he begs, not even embarrassed, squeezing his eyes shut when Lance finally brushes around his walls _just right_. “’M fucking ready, just—hurry up _, Christ_.”

"Eager," Lance says, kissing a trail from behind Keith’s ear down to his shoulder before he rips his fingers out, and there’s an unbearable beat of nothing happening until suddenly he’s lining up in front of Keith’s hole and sliding in painstakingly slow. Keith normally prefers it hard and fast, and that’s only because when it’s soft and slow he loses complete control. And Lance knows this, _the bastard._

When Lance is completely buried inside Keith he stays there, his fingers feather light as they play with Keith’s nipples and making Keith break under his touch.

“ _Lance._ ” His voice cracks, there’s a sting in the corner of his eyes, and _god_ he just needs it so badly.

Lance finally answers his prayers and he begins to pull out until it’s only the tip again, and then he’s slamming back in with brute force. Keith’s whole body jerks forward from the thrust, mouth falling slack as Lance takes his time tearing Keith apart piece by piece. It’s torture; it’s mindmeltingingly good; it’s something Keith is worried he might not be able to live without.

Every push forward knocks more air from Keith's lungs. His arms hurt where they're pressed up against the wall and his feet almost get tangled up in the clothes littered over the floor. But then Lance moves them into a different angle, and then everything becomes a _whole lot better_ as Lance's pace finally picks up speed.

" _Ah—_ " Keith's voice cuts off when Lance brushes over his prostate, only once and not nearly enough. Hands come to rest at his hips again, and Keith nearly loses it when Lance channels his strength and hoists Keith up until he's balancing on just his toes. "Fuck, _fuck_. Lance, oh god, I—"

Lance is muttering obscene words behind him; Keith thinks he hears ‘baby’ and ‘slut’ and ‘beautiful’, and Keith can already feel his release boiling inside him, hot and all-consuming when Lance decides to hit that spot again and again.   

He scrambles his hands to find purchase, struggling as Lance continues to fill him up more and more, sending him over the edge. And then Lance’s hands find his in the dim light of the closet, and he’s interlocking their fingers, and Keith feels his heart betray him when it stutters in his chest.

He tries to find his voice again. “ _Lance,_ ” it’s all he seems to be able get out, pleading, broken; wanting the other man to just finish it.

Lance jerks forward harder until each thrust has Keith’s dick rubbing up against the wall, and that first touch of friction is instant relief. Lance breathes, “Keith,” in the deepest, most blissed out voice, and Keith feels himself cum all over the wall, white hot bursts blinding him momentarily as he cries out.

Lance follows not too long after, hips jittering before they calm down to a stop, sticky hot skin against hot skin as they try to breathe together in the small space of the room.

Keith rests his forehead to the wall for a bit, his sweat causing his hair to stick there (and he knows they’re going to look like hot messes once they leave the room). Lance pulls out, hissing slightly under his breath, and Keith turns, about to grin at him in accomplishment.

But then he stops at the look Lance is giving him. There’s no teasing, no lips curving up into a smirk. Nothing except the way Lance's eyes are glazed over and dark, staring right at Keith like he was seeing another living soul again after thousands of years of isolation.

And maybe it was the booze that spurred Keith's next move, or perhaps it was when Lance darted his tongue out to run over his lips, but Keith feels himself suddenly surging forward until he's kissing Lance, full and hard and deep.

And they’ve never done that before.

Okay, no, that's not entirely true, and he'll blame the tequila for momentarily screwing with his memories. But it's never been... like _this_. Sure, they'd brush lips, nip at each others lips to get the other to shut up, but this feels... somehow more intimate than what they've ever done.  

After a surprised gasp into Keith’s mouth, Lance presses back instantly, his hands carding through Keith’s hair and cradling his head like Keith was something fragile. Keith feels like he's being consumed from the inside out, body a mess under Lance's touch, and he grips desperately at Lance's back and quickly sucks in a breath when Lance moves back for a split second before diving back in. 

Keith feels something in him change. He can’t place what, but suddenly Lance was growing to be too much. He was stealing his breath with every slide of lips, making Keith’s chest ache, and Keith wondered if maybe this had been a bad idea. He allows a few more moments like this, until he pulls away with a quiet ‘pop’ to halt the dizziness behind his eyes.

Lance was still looking at him like before, his fingers playing with Keith’s hair in a way that made Keith's heart stumble, and so he swallows down the emotions threatening to bubble over inside him and wishes nothing more than to run away from Lance's gaze.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up the next day in Lance’s bed, his head throbbing.

He wonders how much he ended up drinking last night to not even remember how they got home, but he has a feeling Shiro might have had something to do with it. He's still fully clothed, much like Lance, and without waking the other man up he slinks off the bed, padding over to the front door and closing it behind him with a quiet ‘click’.

He spends the rest of the day in his own bed, thankful his office gave them all the day off. He tries to sleep, to chase away the feelings still lingering from last night.

_He had kissed Lance._

He’d kissed him, and it was unlike anything else Keith could ever remember feeling. It sounded stupid and cliché, and he buried his head into his pillow and screamed, trying to get all of the frustration out of him. His mind was exhausted, his body aching slightly from how hard they went last night. Every time he closed his eyes now, all he saw was Lance.

But tomorrow was another day.

Tomorrow, everything would go back to normal.

They’d both be gone for the holidays to see their families, then they would meet up again in a week as per usual, and everything would be normal again.

(Easier said than done.)

 

* * *

 

“Ready to go?”

Shiro leans against the doorframe, watching as Keith scrambles around his apartment to grab any last minute things he needs for their trip upstate.

Eventually Keith gives up, figuring he has everything, and followes Shiro out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, what did you and Lance get up to at that party?”

Keith had sort of been expecting the question, only he still wasn’t sure how to answer. He’d been counting all of the lame inflatable Santa Claus statues as they drove through town after town, trying to forget about Lance for a while.

Finally he says, “The usual; kicking ass and taking names.”

He can feel Shiro’s eyes glance over to him, but he doesn’t bring it up again.

 

* * *

 

“Shiro, Keith, my darlings—come _here_.”

Their mum ushers them both inside and out of the cold, wrapping each arm around them as she pepperes their cheeks with kisses.

“Hi mum,” Shiro smiles.

“Merry Christmas,” Keith grunts out when she squeezes him hard.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you both,” she guides them into the lounge room, sitting them down on the couch. “And Shiro, how’s Allura?”

Shiro perks up at the mention of his girlfriend, and Keith holds back on an eye-roll. “She’s great, and sorry she couldn’t make it this year. Her father bought her a flight back to the UK to see her family, so she sends her well wishes.”

Their mum makes an understanding sound before turning to Keith. “Keithy, have you been seeing anyone?”

Keith bites down on his usual remark, not wanting to upset her, but Shiro puts in his two cents: “He’s been casually seeing someone, but they’re still new and working things out at the moment.”

Keith’s eyes widen as he stares at his brother, teeth gritted. Their mum grows excited, though, and then she sends Keith a kind smile. “Well I hope I get to meet them soon.”

Keith sinks lower into the couch and wishes for it to swallow him up.

 

* * *

 

“Dude, why did you _say_ that?”

Keith had cornered Shiro alone after more of their family had arrived. He was pissed, to say the least. Shiro was meant to be the kind one.

Shiro simply gave him a look, like he should know. “I just thought it’d be easier than trying to ward off mum’s attempts to set you up. At least this way you can try to figure out what you want.”

And the way he’d said it, _‘what you want,’_ had Keith’s mind running for the hills.

The rest of the holiday week he spent mostly to himself, with only blue, blue eyes and soft lips occupying his mind.

 

* * *

 

The drive back home had Keith jittery. He was keen to just be in his apartment, to sleep in his own bed, to have a moment to himself.

Only as soon as Shiro drops him home he did the exact opposite, texting Lance’s number and asking if he could go over to his place. He got a reply 10 minutes later saying  _‘sure’_ , and then he was stumbling down his building’s stairs and practically running to Lance’s place a few blocks over.

The minute the door opens Keith surges forward, sucking Lance’s neck like his life depended on it. Clothes were shedding, feet tripping over each other, and pretty soon they were lying on soft sheets as Keith held on tight.

They were both panting when they finished up much later, each resting on one side of the bed. And then Lance tells him quietly:

“I think this might be our last time.”

Keith doesn’t register the words right away, mind still calming down. But then he turns his head, frowning, and Lance isn’t looking at him.

“What?” he hears himself ask.

Lance clears his throat a bit. “While I was at my parents, my mum kept asking when I was going to start my family,” he explains, and Keith wants to scoff, remembering his own mother’s similar worries. “And honestly? All I could think of was, _‘why haven’t I’_?”

Keith blinks at him. “Lance,” he sits up, trying to catch Lance’s eyes. “Lance, you don’t—” Keith isn’t sure what he’s trying to say, thoughts a mess, “You don’t need to… to do that just to _please_ her, or something.”

“It's not really about pleasing her,” Lance shrugs, but he sounds unsure. “But I have always wanted a family, and I'm not getting any younger.”

Keith wants to say something, to argue the idea out of Lance's mind _,_ but the words stick to his tongue. He suddenly regrets coming here, feeling like Lance has become this stranger to him; this different person whom a week ago Keith had never seen before.

“I think I’m going to start dating again,” Lance finishes.

Keith closes his eyes, his hand gripping the sheets, and wishes more than anything he’d had this realization sooner.

 

* * *

 

“Keith,” Shiro murmurs when he finds Keith waiting for him outside Shiro’s apartment one afternoon.

Keith stands up and rests his head on Shiro’s shoulder, biting back on a sob. “He’s going to start dating again,” he whispers, “He’s finished with us. I missed my chance.”

Shiro places his grocery bag on the ground and wraps his arm around him. Keith finally lets his resolve crumble and grips back tightly.

 

* * *

 

It’s strange, realizing your feelings.

It’s also painful, in a way Keith has always tried to avoid.

He thinks maybe it’s karma. He’s known Lance for so long, they’d been intimate for half a year; _he’d had his chance._

Lance would tell him in passing about blind dates he was going on. Keith would pretend he’s interested in hearing about them all before making a lame excuse to change the subject.

And more than anything, he missed just _being_ with Lance.

Keith would torture himself as he’d sit alone in his quiet apartment, thinking about all of these people Lance might become intimate with, who might end up dating him, who might steal Lance’s heart away for good.

Would they know how Lance likes to be kissed right above his belly button? Would they know how Lance liked to have his hair pulled while he was giving head? Would they know that Lance liked two sugars in his coffee; that he watched reruns of shows rather than starting new ones; that he would do anything for the people he loved, even if that meant putting his own interests behind theirs?

Would they know just how much of an amazingly, kindhearted, beautiful person he was and if they ever let him go they’d be making the biggest mistake of their life?

_Would they know?_

 

* * *

 

Lance tells him one day: “Date number three with the same guy; wish me luck.”

Keith forces a smile before he goes to the bathroom to look in the mirror, telling himself: “Get over it, get over it, just move on.”

He doesn’t get over it, Lance leaves for his date, and time goes on.

 

* * *

 

He's shopping for some food one day, or, more accurately, he’s buying a case of beer and planning to drink it all tonight while Lance goes on date number 6.

When he’s nearing the checkout he bumps into a familiar face.

“Hunk,” he exclaims, feeling one of the first genuine smiles grace his face in weeks.

“Hey buddy,” Hunk wraps him up in a bear hug, and Keith almost melts into it, desperate for it.

They both purchase their items before deciding to catch up in a café across the street. They both order a coffee before taking a booth in the corner of the restaurant.

“God, how long’s it been? A year now?” Keith starts.

Hunk chuckles good-naturedly. “Yeah, I finished up my studies in Philly; you’re now looking at an engineer with a Masters degree, baby.” 

Keith smiles again, says, “That’s amazing, I’m really happy for you.”

Hunk grins back before tilting his head. “How about you? Still in the office?”

“Yeah,” he nods, taking a sip of his drink when it arrives. “And before you ask, I’m not seeing anyone, either.”

Hunk offers a shrug, “You’re still young, no pressure.”

Keith thinks of Lance and pushes it away.

“But Lance told me he’s dating someone,” Hunk starts, and Keith tries to hide his scowl behind his mug. “It’s nice he’s trying again. I honestly didn’t think he was ever going to get over you.”

Keith’s hand stops midair, blood running cold. He doesn’t breathe. “ _What?_ ”

“Lance, man,” Hunk continues, as if they were discussing something as mundane as the weather. “He’s been pining after you for so long—I figured he’d told you when you started dating, or hooking up? I forget what you guys were doing.”

When Keith merely stares back, frozen in place, Hunk’s eyes widen as he realizes what he’d just done. “You didn’t… you didn’t know.” It’s a statement.

Keith finally gains some control, shaking his head.

Hunk shuffles in his seat. “Shit, um,” he tries to backtrack, “Keith, he—maybe I’m wrong, it’s, it’s been a while since I’ve been here, so don’t take my word for it, okay? Uh, Keith? Keith?”

Keith drowns him out, drowns everything out. He can only think of one thing, the one thing he’s been trying _not_ to think about for the past month now.

He didn’t know. He didn’t know. He didn't know.

_He didn’t know._

  

But now he does.

 

* * *

 

He goes over to Lance’s straight after, because he can’t let this go like a normal person, obviously.

He knocks at his door rapidly, the sound deafening, his nerves on edge as he finally hears shuffling on the other side. Lance opens it, mildly surprised to see him, and it hurts. _It didn't use to be like that._

Keith swallows around a dry throat. “Can we talk?”

Lance frowns but lets him in. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Hunk told me,” Keith blurts, because that’s who he is. _He doesn’t think, he just acts._

Lance pauses for a moment, apprehensive. “What?”

Keith looks at him, tongue heavy and heart beating a mile a minute. “Did you love me?”

Lance physically jerks. He’s staring back, like a deer caught in headlights. Keith holds his breath, waits.

When Lance answers, “Yes,” in a broken voice, Keith feels like the floor is ripped out from underneath him.

“Do you _still_ love me?”

Lance looks away, mouth pulled down. “Keith…” he sounds so small, so tired. Keith immediately regrets doing this. He always manages to fuck things up even more. Why couldn’t he have _let this go?_ “Keith, I’m trying to move on, I really am.”

_But I don’t want you to._

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Keith asks, so quiet he’s not sure Lance even heard him.

Lance’s face goes hard, his hands curling at his sides. “Because I _know_ you, Keith. Ever since we met, you’ve never been tied down. You didn’t date, you never got attached. You were like this unattainable spirit, but dammit, I still loved you _so_ much it actually hurt sometimes,” he almost spits out the words, like poison.

Keith wants to argue, but it’s true. He _did_ used to be like that. He still kind of _is_. Except…

“Why did you agree, all those months ago?”

Lance laughs bitterly. “Because I’m a fucking masochist, apparently. What better way to get over you than by _sleeping_ with you?” Keith hears him draw in a deep breath. “I just wanted to pretend. I wanted to be closer to you. Even if I was never going to get what I really wanted, I was just happy I got to be with you like that. God, I’m so fucking _pathetic._ ”

_No, I am._

“Lance,” Keith wants to say so much, but he tries for once to think things through. “What if I could… give you what you want?”

Lance recoils, like he’s been slapped. “Is this some pity thing?”

Keith shakes his head. “No, _no_ ,” he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “Lance, I—listen. I… I get that you’re trying to move on..." But he has to know. He has to at least _try_. “But more than anything I don't want to miss out on the one chance I might have with this. I’ve missed you, a _lot_ ,” he breathes out, trying to remain steady. “And not just the sex part, I’ve missed everything. I miss the way you hum when you brush your teeth. I miss how you always called me out on my shit. I miss your laugh, I miss feeling your hands all over me, I miss... _you_ ,” he takes a small step forward, “More than anything, I miss how your lips felt against mine. Things changed that night Lance, I _know_ you felt it.”

He braces himself, wanting to get absolutely everything off his chest. “I understand if I’m too late. I’ll respect your choice, if you want to get past this. I’ll let you go. But I had to tell you at least once, I _had_ to.” He swallows, “I love you.”

“Fuck,” Lance breathes, his gaze searching Keith’s as if waiting for the punchline. “Keith, I…” he licks at his lips, eyes downcast. “I want that more than anything, but…”

Keith feels his heart plummet.

“But, I think I just… need some time,” Lance manages, hopeful and nervous all at once.

Keith nods, a small spark of hope crackling its way to the surface. "Okay."

Lance’s small smile is like a lifejacket out at sea, and Keith holds on.

 

* * *

 

A week later, Lance shows up at his door and Keith lets him in wordlessly.

They watch crappy movies all night, laughing together, and Keith holds on.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later, Lance tells him:

“I ended things with Jack.”

Keith nods, not pushing him, wanting to give him space, and holds on.

 

* * *

 

One month later, Lance shows up at his work and asks if he wants to get some lunch together.

Keith says yes, and holds on.

 

* * *

 

One month and ten days later, Lance appears at his door again, flowers in hand and a beautiful blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Keith Kogane, will you do the honor of accompanying me on this fine evening?”

Keith smiles so hard it hurts.

Lance offers him his hand, and Keith holds on.

 

* * *

 

One month, ten days and 3 hours later, he gets to taste those lips again, and the wait was absolutely worth it.

 

* * *

 

Two months later, Keith gets to feel Lance again.

Spread out over new, crimson bed sheets, Keith takes his time in re-learning every dip on Lance’s body, every freckle, kissing along scars and trailing fingers over veins.

Lance’s breath hitches beautifully, eyelashes fluttering, and Keith wonders how he thought he could ever live without this.

 

* * *

 

Six months later, Keith gets to come home to Lance - to _their_ home.

Lance welcomes him with a kiss that never fails to make Keith’s toes curl. They cook dinner together in the kitchen, they watch TV curled up on the couch, they bump shoulders when they brush their teeth in front of the mirror.

They fall asleep in their bed, and Keith holds on.

 

* * *

 

One year later, Keith and Lance divide up Christmas day to see both of their families.

Lance’s mother greets them with hugs and welcomes Keith into the family with teary eyes.

Keith’s mother adopts Lance on the spot, and Shiro gives them a thumbs up from across the room. Allura smiles at them both, whispering to Keith that she’s so happy for him.

Keith looks over at Lance still chatting with his mother; their gazes lock, and Keith holds on.

 

* * *

 

Two years later they kiss in front of all their family and friends, and Keith feels nothing but unadulterated joy when Lance slides the ring on his finger.

Keith cries happily as Lance kisses him again and again.

He finally lets go, knowing that Lance will be there to catch him.

Always.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I live for love/comments, yo 
> 
> come talk to me on [/tumblr](http://edsbrak.tumblr.com/) x


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